A year already???

What can I say? It has been a crazy year. I am so glad that I decided to take a chance on me and get the band. I firmly believe that there is absolutely no way that I ever would have made it 70 pounds down without the band.

There is a part of me that is a little disappointed in myself because I know that with only a few minor changes, I would have been at goal weight today and not still another 25 pounds or so away. But if I was going to be totally honest with myself, I wasn't sure this would really work. I have to say that my band has worked for me inspite of me, not because of me.

I have learned to live with my new eating lifestyle (maybe, each day is different). I still enjoy a cookie or some candy and please don't take away my ice cream. But I have made it a full year and know that because I have lost 70 pounds living my life and not being a nazi about food consumption, that I can live the rest of my life with my band.

I would call that a success! What do you think?

A New Perspective...

I am sure that some of you know that we have our struggles with Connie from time to time. We have been blessed with several good weeks lately, almost so that we might have forgotten how bad it can be sometimes. Well, this week has been really tough with her. I find that when I am stressed about being a mom and always doing the right thing, I go to the internet and read other mom's blogs. I follow many blogs here (too many probably). Today I realize that everything really must be kept in perspective. There is always someone else fighting a bigger battle than we are fighting.

This was written by a mom with her daughter at home on hospice care…

"Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her."

Ever since Dad passed away, I have been struggling to be sure that I am enjoying the time I have with the important people in my life. When we need patience with each other or one of the kids, we should remember how lucky we are to just have them in our lives for one more day.

I vow to try to remember that we are never promised more than the present and to really take the time to love ALL of the times with my family...even the difficult times.

It has been a year...

It's hard to believe that it has been a year today since I was able to hold my Daddy's hand and tell him how much I love him. It seems unreal to me.

I am coming off of a fantastic week with the kids only to be entering what might be a difficult week. I am realizing that I have a terrible denial side to me. I am not sure that I have every really grieved for him. I still have his picture on the fridge and in my office. I have spent the last year getting used to looking at them without crying...until this month. Last week would have been his 60th birthday. I think I missed calling him on his birthday more than I missed him calling me on my birthday. Not sure why that would be.

But, this too shall pass. I can still hear him talking to me, mostly when I am doing to much or not taking the time out that I should to just live in the current moment. I did learn that from him. Life is about so much more than our jobs and the next place we have to be. I know that I get frustrated with the kids because I have so many self-imposed demands on my time and I am really trying to just "be". That has been a tough lesson and not one that I think I will ever master.

I love you Daddy! And to anyone else, please take care of yourself (no one else can do it for you) and treasure every moment that you have with your loved ones.

Walt Disney World

It has been so long since I posted. We decided to actually attempt another family vacation this year and so we ended up at Disney World in Orlando, FL for Spring Break. It was AMAZING! Neither Jeff nor I have ever been so I had no idea what I was doing when I booked the trip. There were so many choices but it turned out great. I did learn some things so if anyone decides to go, I would be happy to let you in on what we figured out.

All of the kids had fun, including Jeff and I. Amy thought she was too big for the characters and in spite of my encouragement, she refused to get up and dance with Prince Charming! Brad was just beside himself with the whole thing...characters, rides, junk food, you name it! And then Connie...she has amazing stamina.

We left here on Saturday morning and drove to Mariana, FL. Then we got up about 5am on Sunday morning. We met up with a friend of Jeff's from high school and had lunch. Then shortly after arriving at the resort cabin, we decided to go check out Magin Kingdom. They had extra hours for people staying at the disney resorts, so we ended up staying until 3am! I still can't believe it. Everyone had a blast but as soon as we got into the car, Amy and Brad were asleep. But not Connie! She was still going strong. We hunted up something to snack on and about 5am we were pretty much begging Connie to go to sleep.

We slept in the next day since we pretty much were able to do all of the rides at the Magic Kingdom. Then we had to find a camera store because Connie got excited and bounced our camera off the stroller and broke the lens. But I suppose it worked out since I now have a much better lens even if I wasn't planning on spending that money during the trip.

We had several character dining experiences and several mornings Connie fell asleep just after breakfast and slept until lunch. On Thursday she actually slept until about 4pm. Thank goodness it was our last day.

We finally got home this afternoon and we are thankful for the chance we had to go. We were able to spend some great family time and we made some great family memories.

Here are some pics of the week.

and now there's more snow!!!

Snow in Houston!!!

Well, the snow fairy is here early today. They have been saying all week that it might snow today. Jeff just sent me these pictures from home. It is supposed to clear out by later tonight and just be VERY cold the rest of the weekend.

Wow! It's December already!!!

I have been so busy keeping up with life, that I haven't been posting on the blog. I have sure enjoyed keeping up with everyone else's activities though.

There seems to be another phenomenom similar to about 2.5 years ago...babies, babies, everywhere. At least this time there is only 3 at once. Last time there were 6 babies born in our respective families over about 30 days. I am so happy for all of our recently expanded families. Babies are such a blessing.

As for our family, where should I begin. As most know, Jeff had surgery back in August. Well, after some time of wondering what all was going on and him not really feeling better for too long, he was put into the hospital again on October 17th. The tragedy there was that it was the day we were having Connie's 5th birthday party! (I will have to post pics of that later, but here is one that my brother sent me with her cake in the background.)



After one week in the hospital, he had another bowel resection done and spent one more week in the hospital. This time, they were not able to do the surgery laproscopically. So he is still at home recovering. We think he will finally be back at work next week.

So he and I both missed Connie's 5th birthday and we were really bummed about that. In fact only last weekend did I get around to giving her the present we bought for her...roller skates! She got the hang of it really quickly.




Then about the time Jeff was home and on the road to recovery, I had surgery. I decided to go ahead and get the lap band done. It was a tough decision, but so far has been really easy. It won't stay that way and already there have been some major changes but I am sure that in the end, it will all be worth it.

We decided that since the last few months have been so hectic that we would stay home for Thanksgiving. Amy and Brad were gone for the week to their dad's house so it was quiet. We ordered a catered turkey meal and then just made some appetizer type snacks and a dessert or two. It was really nice.

Then since I am a lucky person, my birthday fell the day after Thanksgiving this year. Jeff cooked fajitas and made a huge whole spread to go with them. Mom and Dad were in town to relax with us so we enjoyed our Friday at home. The rest of the weekend was just as quiet. I had grand plans to clean out Brad's room while he was gone for the week, but I guess I took a few naps instead.

Oh, and I almost forgot! We got a new puppy at the beginning of October. She is a Miniature Schnauzer. She will be pretty little. We expect her to get between 4-6 pounds full grown. She is about 4 months old. I know these pics are hard to really see how little she is/was, but that is my shoe is was trying to play with.

School has begun...

I am really not sure at this point who is happier?

Amy was so thrilled to be back among her friends. I mean really...she's been with family all summer! she will be starting volleyball tryouts this afternoon. She is not all that excited about it but she is in athletics anyway so that she can be in basketball later in the year. She decided that she might as well try out for volleyball instead of doing nothing all season. I am so proud of her! She is really an awesome person and I am so grateful that I get to be her mom! I just can't believe that she is in 8th grade already! I still cry when I remember back to her first day in kindergarten.

Brad started 4th grade yesterday. He is growing up so much too! Like all his friends, he was happy to be back at school. He has the sweetest teacher and I am happy about that. He has been lucky the last few years to get awesome teachers!

Connie woke up yesterday so excited to be going to the first day of school. Now, mind you, she is going to the same daycare she has been going to for the last 2 years. I guess she was just buzzing from Amy and Brad's excitement.

They were all so easy to get out of bed yesterday. Why is the second day so much harder? It was terrible trying to get them up this morning. I guess the new has already begun to wear off.

Well, here are a couple of pics from our BIG kids....

Bowling, anyone?

We had our back to school cub scout party last weekend. It was lots of fun...to watch! I am not a bowler and since Jeff just had surgery, he was only along for the ride and to get out of the house for a bit. But the kids all had lots of fun!

This video is a bit hard to watch. Amy took it with my digital camera and it bounces quite a bit. It's cute though.

Does anyone have a cure for those silly faces that Connie makes? We have been trying for a couple of months to get her to stop? I especially get irritated when someone talks to her and her only response is some silly face!

I hope everyone else has/had a great first day of school!

Jeff is home finally....

Actually, he c=got home Thursday afternoon. It was a total shock to both of us. But since he was doing all the things the surgeon thought necessary, he told Jeff that he could continue his recovery at home. Since we have been home, Jeff has been really good about getting his walking in. He is walking our whole neighborhood at least twice a day.

Mom stayed until this morning and took the kids shopping for school clothes. I am so thankful that she did that for me! I love to shop but I don't like to do it at this time of year. This was the last year that I only have two to buy supplies for so considering what they spent, maybe I should start that savings fund now????

Well that's all I have for now. I hope that everyone else is doing well.

Day 3 and still counting...

Jeff is doing so much better today. He started a clear liquid diet last night and is getting to move to a soft diet for dinner this afternoon. The surgeon is happy about his progress and so are we. We finally have some peace with the nursing staff only to have the neighbor man move all his family in with him. Boy! Are they a loud bunch. But (and this might amaze some of you) Jeff is just taking it all in stride and turning the television up. I am kinda shocked that he hasn't asked me to get his computer for him but he has just been vegetating in front of the television for now.

I decided (as though anything is up to me) that this would be a successful trip if we could get him home by Sunday evening. It looks like we might even get him home before then. But we are not rushing anything. He is walking quite a bit and taking it slowing with his intake. I will spare the details but we have proof that his bowels are working again.

I guess that's it for now. We hope everyone is doing well.

Day 2 and counting

Well, today was mostly just about overcoming last night. It was a rough one...but mostly because the nursing care has left something to be desired. Although to the nurses defense there did seem to be several different emergencies last night. Imagine that! Really sick people in the hospital! Who would have thought that?

Jeff is doing better. He just told the nurse that he is only having pain when he moves...and he pretty much only moves when he is tired of hearing me nag him about getting out of bed. But, he sat up for a long time two different times today and even took a walk. So, that is good. He is beginning to get hungry and the bowels are showing some signs of waking up so all of that is good news.

I had a good conversation with the patient advocate this afternoon to explain that we would really appreciate it if the nurses would try to understand what it is like to be the one lying in bed and unable to do much for yourself. Just to be clear here...I totally get the job these nurses have to do and I respect them for their dedication to the health of our community. But, really does an IV pump really have to beep for over 30 minutes before they (or anyone) does something to silence the pump? Jeff does pretty good sleeping through the lady's machine next door but when his machine does it, he isn't quite so patient.

Hopefully tonight will be at least a little quieter and Jeff will get to sleep at least more than 15 minutes at a time.

Jeff is on the road to recovery....finally

Well I guess even with this blog, email and the amazing invention of the telephone I am still terrible at keeping people updated on life's events. I realized this today as I emailed Aunt Mert today to let her know that he was out of surgery and in recovery. She apparently was one of several people that I neglected to even tell he was having surgery. I am so bad at this communication thing!

So, here's the deal. He has been struggling with diverticulitis since August 2007 when it perforated his colon. He had an 8 day hospital visit then and when he was released he was told that many times it can be treated with diet and being cautious (and having a prescription on file at all times). Well that plan worked well for a few months and then as time passed he was having more and more pain. Then about the beginning of the year, he had a tough bout with it has pretty much been on antibiotics about 3 weeks of every 5-6 weeks since then.

A couple of weeks ago, I made him an appointment and he had a CAT scan done. His gastro doctor told him to make an appointment with the surgeon because it definitely would require surgical intervention at this point. She explained to him that basically his body has built up so much scar tissue that the colon was narrowing and had the potential for another rupture. The surgeon agreed and 10 days later, here we are!

We got to the hospital (Methodist Hospital, Sugarland) this morning about 6am and they started his surgery about 830am. The surgery lasted about 2 hours and he spent a little over an hour in the recovery area. They finally got him into a room and he slept for another couple of hours. Only in the last hour or so has he been waking more regularly. They have him on a morphine pump and I think he wakes up when the medicine wears off. He only sleeps about 15 minutes at a time so it looks like it will be a long night.

As for the expected outcome....they were able to do the surgery laparoscopically so that is a good thing, I suppose. The surgeon told us that the procedure itself isn't much different but the scars are less. He is in alot of pain right now, but they are doing what they can to help him there too. He just met the nighttime nurse and remembered that he didn't care for her the last time he was here so it may be a long night. I am going to work on convincing him how much better he will feel in the long run if he will try to move around a bit. I know it will hurt, but I feel like I can empathize with him since I have had 3 c-sections and my tubes tied. Maybe he will at least realize that I know partly what he feels.

Anyway, that's about it for now. The kids are at home with my mom for the week. Amy has summer band and is starting her softball practice back up. Then there's school clothes shopping and sports try-outs in the next couple of weeks. Oh yeah, and school starts on the 24th. Why does it seem that the older they get, school becomes secondary to everything else. Luckily I am blessed with the world's smartest kids so it isn't too much of a struggle that school's main focus for her is to socialize.

Thanks for checking in on us. Love to you all!

Now the healing has begun...I think...

Well, Dad's memorial service was nice. We did it at the house and while it didn't seem as formal as maybe it should have been, it was all I could do. His sister and her husband came down from Mississippi and my Mom and Dad came down from Groesbeck along with my brother and his family. It was intimate but small. Actually it turned into a weekend event since everyone stayed at the house all weekend. Our house was full, but I am glad that they were able to be there!

The slideshow/movie I made was a big hit so I am happy about that. And while I didn't think it would be possible, I do feel better having the service behind me. I actually put some pictures in a frame and brought it to the office. That says alot since it hasn't been that long that I cried just at the sight of him in a picture or the thought of him. Now, I am able to start getting my heart to understand that he would want us to miss him but he would want us happy.

Thanks to Aunt Mert and Aunt Bev for the beautiful plant. Also thanks to Dad's girlfriend Denyse for the flowers. They sure did help to brighten up the room! Thank you also Laura for your kind thoughts. These have been some pretty dark days in my life and I look forward to putting them behind me.

The weekend ended with Amy going home with Granny and Brad going home with my aunt. Anyone like to have a 4 year old for a few days????

Now, it's time to start gearing up for school to start. I would sure like to be able to take some time and not have to always be preparing for something....will that ever happen?

It has been one of those weeks!

It seems like I say that more and more these days. I am not sure if it's just the fact that it's summertime and the kids need to be entertained or my emotional state since losing dad.

Brad and I left on Sunday for scout camp. Boy that was an experience...and not one that I am ready to do again. But, Brad had such a good time that if he asks to go again I am sure we will go. I took Brad and 2 other scout friends with us. I have pictures to upload, but I don't have them here now.

I have been working on getting my pictures transferred to my new Mac computer. I am so glad that I bought it! I have had the best time playing with it. Of course, transferring information is a pain but I am getting there. I am now going to make slideshows of the pictures and put them on DVDs so the kids could actually see all the digital pictures that we take.

I get so frustrated because we take all the pictures and I am either not smart enough or not patient enough to figure out how to do the digital scrapbooks and stuff so I can put these pictures in albums for the kids to see. Now, with my new computer, it makes it all so easy! I have a sharing site so I will post a link once I get things up there that others might want to see.

Tomorrow is the memorial service for dad. I am both dreading it and glad that it's almost over at the same time. I never could have imagined the pain and how long it can last. I was able to make a movie/slideshow with his pictures finally but it has been tough. I am not at the point of feeling joy when I see his smile. I do feel his love, but I still just get incredibly sad when I see his face. Hopefully tomorrow's gathering will help with that some. Anyway, if you want to see the movie (it's kinda long) it is at www.gallery.me.com/pamgriffis.

Here's hoping that a houseful of guests make the weekend bearable.

Life has been so crazy!!!

I realized on Monday just how long it has been since I have posted. Although I am glad to see that summer seems to get busy for everyone. One thing I have not quite understood is how summer gets so busy for our house since Jeff and I both work? I guess it's because I am obsessed with making sure my kids don't just sit and vegetate (sp?) all summer. So there is a high school girl that comes by and runs them to their various camps and other things to do (and I might add...make sure that Amy and Brad don't torture/kill each other).

Last week was cub scout day camp with 200 boys all week. Boy! That was fun! Actually is was fun and was made even more enjoyable by knowing that I will most likely not have to do much with the camp at all next year. There are so many pictures from that camp that I would even be able to post them. Although I did manage to get a few pictures of my own children this year...

even Amy gets to go to Cub Scout camp...although this year she was big enough to be a junior volunter....

and apparently, I didn't get any pics of Connie at camp. She loves camp so much that every time we even drive past the fairgrounds, she asks if it's time for camp yet.

On Monday, we got a really nice surprise...Bra and Uncle Doug came and spent the night with us! We had a great time visiting with them. I did get a picture of Connie this time...


And yes, that is my 4.5 year old daughter in a pullup before bed with no jammies. She just about refuses to wear clothes to bed. I guess it's because she is so hot natured and I am usually just happy to have her going to bed at some decent hour and staying in bed all night. As for the pull up, I am hoping that she will grow out of it. About half the time, she doesn't wet, but the pull up is easier than the mess.

And now for more fun pics

As Laura has said, baseball is in full swing. Brad and Connie are playing for the local little leaque and Amy is playing tournament ball. Connie's first game gave me a little scare. She hit the ball ok but she didn't care for those other players to be standing on the bases as she was running. She she did what any kid would do...she pushed them off! And I don't mean she lightly pushed them off...she ran at them with her arms stretched out and palms up and just basically ran straight into them! Boy they were surprised! It just didn't occur to me that I should have told her that in practice there is no one standing at the bases, but there will be during the games. Now that we have a few games under our belt, she is better. Then the other night at a game she ran up to second base and when the baseman wasn't anywhere around she left her base to go tell him that he should be over there watching the base. It was too far to get a good picture, but she was standing there with her hands on her hips telling him all about it. Of course, we have to keep in mind that she does not particularly care for the part of the game where she is in the field. She spends that time flirting with her coaches, picking flowers or just dancing around singing. So I am not sure where she gets the authority to tell anyone how to play. But she is having so much fun! And that makes it all worth the effort...(just remember that our Connie is always the clown, so I hardly ever get pretty pictures, but they all make me smile)




And I actually have a few pics of Brad playing too....

Thesnthe bottom fell out...

Not long after the Lexington trip, I got the call that I have been dreading for months...well, actually years. Dad had just been here for 3 weeks in February but reluctantly I had to send him home to see if they would be able to give him his chemo treatment in California. We were so trying to get something worked out so he could stay with us but the stars just weren't lining up for us. Anyway, his girlfriend called on Sunday, March 15th, and said that he was not doing well at all. So, off I went to California to spend what was the worst and yet somehow the best 10 days I have ever spent with my Dad. I am still not even close to be able to deal with it, and I am not sure I will ever be able/willing to deal with the loss. I knew as soon as I picked him up at the airport in February that his time on earth was much shorter than I was ready for. We had known that he wouldn't survive his cancer, but there is never enough time to spend with the ones that you love. He passed on March 23rd and I still have not been able to organize a memorial service for his friends and family on this side of the country. That just seems to final and I'm not ready.

He made peace with himself in those last days and that is all we can ever hope for someone. He accepts Jesus into his heart and finally felt that he would be forgiven for his sins and that Jesus would take him home. That process was a miracle in itself and I truly feel blessed to have witnessed his journey to forgiveness.

Anyway, I made a memorial site if anyone is interested...http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/alanross/homepage.aspx

The site has been good for me to have a virtual place to see his pictures. I can't take down his picture on our refrigerator, but I can't look at it either. Somehow on the internet, it doesn't seem so sad.

So my words for today....give everyone you love a hug, a kiss and a prayer every day because you just don't know how many days we have.

The boys trip to the USS Lexington

I really hadn't realized how long it has been since I have posted here. I guess there goes another New Year's Resolution down the tubes.

Anyway, back in early March, Jeff and Brad went with our Cub Scouts and spent the night on the USS Lexington in Corpus Christi. They said it was loads of fun...and I agreed that it probably was...for them. The girls and I stayed home and just spent some time painting fingernails, doing hair and watching movies. Yes, folks, that's my idea of fun. So here are some pictures...

Connie's T-Ball Practice

OK. Now that I have had some time to think about it, maybe giving Connie a bat wasn't such a good idea. But she's just so darn cute playing ball....



And her she is trying make contact with the ball. It's a cute picture, but if you look close enough, you will see that she actually hit the tee and the ball fell straight down. Oh well, she ran to first anyway.

She had to hold the batting helmet on because the straps were too long and she thought it was going to bounce off.

I know no one will believe me here, but this is a picture of daddy about to distract her from the game. But you could tell that she loved her daddy being right there with her on the field. I wonder what will happen on game day?

And this is just Connie and Daddy playing around.


And I just had to post a picture of all 3 of my children acting like they like each other, even if it was only for a brief moment....