Not long after the Lexington trip, I got the call that I have been dreading for months...well, actually years. Dad had just been here for 3 weeks in February but reluctantly I had to send him home to see if they would be able to give him his chemo treatment in California. We were so trying to get something worked out so he could stay with us but the stars just weren't lining up for us. Anyway, his girlfriend called on Sunday, March 15th, and said that he was not doing well at all. So, off I went to California to spend what was the worst and yet somehow the best 10 days I have ever spent with my Dad. I am still not even close to be able to deal with it, and I am not sure I will ever be able/willing to deal with the loss. I knew as soon as I picked him up at the airport in February that his time on earth was much shorter than I was ready for. We had known that he wouldn't survive his cancer, but there is never enough time to spend with the ones that you love. He passed on March 23rd and I still have not been able to organize a memorial service for his friends and family on this side of the country. That just seems to final and I'm not ready.
He made peace with himself in those last days and that is all we can ever hope for someone. He accepts Jesus into his heart and finally felt that he would be forgiven for his sins and that Jesus would take him home. That process was a miracle in itself and I truly feel blessed to have witnessed his journey to forgiveness.
Anyway, I made a memorial site if anyone is interested...http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/alanross/homepage.aspx
The site has been good for me to have a virtual place to see his pictures. I can't take down his picture on our refrigerator, but I can't look at it either. Somehow on the internet, it doesn't seem so sad.
So my words for today....give everyone you love a hug, a kiss and a prayer every day because you just don't know how many days we have.
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Hi Pam,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you got to be with him and spend good quality time with him. If you never had the chance to do that, you really would have never had any closure. Don't rush yourself through the grieving process, it will all come in time when you are ready. It is very difficult, but it is necessary and very much a part of life. Just hold onto your faith that you will see him again and hold onto all your memories with him.
Much Love,
The Potters
Grieving is good. Just take your time. It is what will eventually heal you and give you peace. Peace will come and it is sweet. love you Aunt Myrt
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